ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
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No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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