Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize