Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.

  (1-916): View more from California

  That's why you should quit smoking.

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  (916): It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here. (1-916): That's why you should quit smoking. http://tfl.nu/xt8p
  Replies (3) Good night (491) Bad night (1971) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.

  (903): View more from Texas

  That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.

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  (903): I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative. (903): That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame. http://tfl.nu/rh6l
  Replies (30) Good night (663) Bad night (3374)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.

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  (806): How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking. http://tfl.nu/9w1c
  Replies (11) Good night (3926) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him

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  (443): He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him http://tfl.nu/8x14
  Replies (19) Good night (1263) Bad night (3925) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  630.

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  (678): Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains? (1-678): 630. http://tfl.nu/hncc
  Replies (22) Good night (6612) Bad night (1036) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.

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  (803): She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD. http://tfl.nu/b7tw
  Replies (13) Good night (1246) Bad night (2870) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.

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  (203): Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one. http://tfl.nu/lrd9
  Replies (6) Good night (3725) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.

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  (520): normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees. http://tfl.nu/d0ki
  Replies (11) Good night (4055) Bad night (1006) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.

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  (631): The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason. http://tfl.nu/mydy
  Replies (10) Good night (2788) Bad night (1362)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.

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  (720): maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on. http://tfl.nu/wqnd
  Replies (9) Good night (1207) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall

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  (412): I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall http://tfl.nu/47d9
  Replies (1) Good night (754) Bad night (316) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.

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  (304): The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me. http://tfl.nu/eykr
  Replies (8) Good night (348) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.

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  (610): Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day. http://tfl.nu/k3zd
  Replies (3) Good night (354) Bad night (568) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  7) Noodle arms: engage

  (269): View more from Michigan

  The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.

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  (269): 1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all. (269): 7) Noodle arms: engage (269): The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right. http://tfl.nu/5w2m
  Replies (8) Good night (1190) Bad night (168)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh

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  (804): I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh http://tfl.nu/vuef
  Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (147) Order T-Shirt

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