is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
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I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
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He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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