I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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