I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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