My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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