:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize