I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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