'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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