YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
this beer tastes like vomit already
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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