im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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