someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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