A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize