well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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