shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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