I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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