Me. At least after what I've been through.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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