It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
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He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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