Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
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The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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