i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
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Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
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But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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