You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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