PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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