nut hugger
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize