Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize