It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
True college students do jello shots in the library
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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