You were right. It hurts to walk today.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
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let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You took a bar mat shot.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
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Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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