I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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