Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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