I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize