i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize