I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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