My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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