He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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