good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
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You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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