I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He did a backflip because drugs
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize