Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize