Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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