I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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