Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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