you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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