You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
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He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Be still, my beating vagina.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
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Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize