I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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