just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i think i just lost a toe
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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