As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
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THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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