Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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