xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize