Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize