Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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