Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize